We all fall into the trap of making people and things indispensable in our lives every now and then. We often find great dependence in things that are not long lasting; in people who do not see themselves as dependable, or trust themselves to meet the need we perceive they have the solution for.

Let us beware of making anyone and anything indispensable in our lives. All things are fleeting and life has a way of replacing things that do not fit, or things that have outlived their usefulness.
When we start seeing something as indispensable, we become dependent on it, and once we become dependent on it, our potential for innovation, ability to stand out and make a difference or survive in life is curtailed by the extent of that dependency. The danger is that we might end up living other people’s dreams; setting standards that on a normal day we may out-shine them thereby missing the opportunity to stand on our feet and live our dreams.
Our Jobs, our life partners, our families, our social standings, can slip through our fingers and crash any time. If we always see these as things we cannot do without, chances are that when they are not there for whatever reason, our world may come to an end. We cannot make any of these the center of our lives. Indeed human life and all our efforts are ephemeral. Nothing born of man or made by his hands lasts forever.
Yes we don’t have to live in anticipation that we will lose our jobs, or that our partners might die or leave us, or our families might break-up anytime; these can be depressing to us and make us take unnecessary contingencies. However a healthy knowledge of the possibility of losing our job will help us save some money or develop ourselves while doing our current job, so that if that day ever comes, we can cope well or quickly adjust and move on.
A healthy knowledge that we can lose a partner through death or a break-up will help us give them the love, respect and support they need now so there will be no regrets when they are no longer there. It also gives us the emotional strength to carry on if these things even happen, and guide us to make the needed material/financial preparations so we don’t fall from grace to grass overnight; and in this respect I am looking at marriages where only one person is the family provider.
A healthy knowledge that we can lose our families or friends would always push us to build what bears our names and help us make our own marks instead of living our lives under an umbrella mark and not individual marks. Again, it will push us to give them the love they need today, the courage and confidence to move on tomorrow when necessary and the possibility of survival in the world alone. Alone we came, alone we will go; and in between this, alone we must sometimes walk.
I know of people who moved from grace to grass when they lost their jobs and did not have any savings nor any special skill that could get them employed elsewhere; Families that broke up instantly because the source of bread left; weak  members of partnerships  who went under when the partnership ended.
We should move on and do well when things change. Life is dynamic and change is a constant part of our humanity. If we remember this, it becomes easy for us to move on when we are met with these changes.

You can read more from this author on his blog


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