Africans must have learned their lessons. Good news: we have not heard lately as much horror separations, and even worse, mutilation by wives and husbands from Diaspora. It was not heavenly bliss after spending gburu money procuring homely wives/husbands. Though there are many African ladies overseas as men; the traditional law and custom you ignored at home, cannot be invoked for divorce outside Africa. Africans are resigned to marrying people they know wherever they are.

Beauty and the beast is one of the most glaring contrast people see and wonder what she or he is doing with that beast. If you do not love the beast, do not start, just let go. Oh no. Not with all that money or the sexual prowess of a man and a woman, that may falter. The marriage of better or worse are struggling into what have you done for me lately. What is left is tough love, the ability to get it and with what it takes to make it.

Your own money or love cannot guarantee happiness or loyalty that is in the realm of your partner. The best you can offer is goodwill hoping for reciprocity. The notion that once you are nice or willing to give your money, others will respond in kind may be true in most cases but you must also be prepared for a few surprises. Trust is essential only if it is mutual. Blind trust is no good if you are ditched beyond the viable age of recovery. But age is no more an obstacle between couples as baby boomers live young forever.

There was a friend that confessed that with all his money, he could not get a woman. If he could not get one to love him, he would settle for one that could at least love his money. It may sound funny to many that can get any human, to either love them or their money. But we must note that even millionaires and prostitutes need someone to love and someone to cherish them. What is hard to get is tough love, no matter where.

So what our friend needed to do was go to the villages and towns far from the big cities where his money would be appreciated by the prettiest woman he desired. Even those outside of Africa realized they had to go to the old countries in Europe and Asia to get that ?unsullied? lady. As Eddie Murphy counseled, go to an African village and settle for one old fashion lady you think nobody would want to share with you. By the time your choice from Europe, Asia and Africa settled down, she would be litigating for Half-half!

Well, you might think this friend is not looking at the right places. Remember that he did not say that he could not get a prostitute, what he wanted was a woman that would be loyal to stand by him. In these days of finicky relationships, even the celebrated ones go awry. What may be difficult is keeping the woman he wants or a woman keeping the man she wants without fear of being used on exotic honeymoon for insurance money.

Even in the days when old generation depends on a man for a living, good farmers and hunters make better husbands than loafers. Women can be economically independent on their own these days, so that a man that is well endowed can be kept until hooked by another woman. The same is true of rich men and beautiful woman. Apprehensively, we depend on relationships based on contracts, prenuptial love and infatuation just in case.

Money creates power and problems; sexual prowess creates fascination or passion and imagination of potentials that may be impossible to attract without beauty and money. As we become more obsessed with material goods and modern gadgets for ourselves and those we care for, it will be implausible to think of marrying just and only for love. The consequences are becoming risky in case we run into a grim economic future.

Let us face it, there is always an attraction out there beckoning those that let their imagination take over their senses and thereby fall for a blast of a lifetime. If it goes well, they may try it again and again until their wild imagination runs dry. Marriage is not for every man and woman that has sworn not to make it part of their life but had to bow to the pressure of friends and families to enter into impassive relationship. Until some realize they are gay or enjoy being single.

As for those that would never have had a relationship, without money or without being blessed with natural endowment, if they cannot stand a long-term relationship, it suites them just fine to enjoy it while it lasts and suffer the consequences of dry episode than suffer all the time without any relationship. Indeed one can also argue that a known prostitute may be looking for a way out to prove herself or himself as a stable spouse while a happily married man may ventures into house of prostitution.

One may even go further that prostitution must not be confused with love. While one can be infatuated with prostitutes, they may argue that you cannot love prostitute. But empirical evidence show that people do fall in love with prostitutes and marry them. How long they remain a good wife could be a point of contention with those that claim some marriages break up before those of prostitutes.

Money is the most vulnerable because it is never enough and sexual prowess fades with time and age only to be rekindled and tempted by new charms occasionally. Most of the marriages that last long survive on tough love which is not hard to come by if we only try harder, but nobody should feel stuck. Tough love may even be dangerous because of committed people’s reaction to unimaginable disappointment. On the other hand are those attracted to known players, no matter how short their pleasure is, they accept it.

Therefore money can buy you love, at least on a temporary basis, by prenuptial contract or special mission depending on how much is available. Just as sexual attraction can be irresistible leading to one night stand. Those that claim that money cannot buy you love may class that money-love as nothing short of infatuation. Well, if you have money or the curved figure to attract, you do not want to be short of both infatuation and love.

It boils down to what make a man or a woman strays from tough love into infatuation in the arms of a loafer or a user. Many realize the risk involve that they may lose more than their career and home but still gamble all anyway.

By: Farouk Martins Aresa.


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